Mommy Confessions Revealed!

            One weekend, I had a rare few minutes to read through my Parenting magazine.  There was a book review section and one title caught my eye: Confessions of a Scary Mommy: An Honest and Irreverent Look at Motherhood - The Good, The Bad, and the Scary by Jill Smokler.  It was born from a blog Smokler developed while home with her children.  Each chapter begins with anonymous, but true, confessions, shared by blog followers.  The rest of the chapter is then a full description of her own experiences surrounding such topics as pregnancy, birthday parties, other people’s children and husbands.  I found these parts a bit self-indulgent but the confessions were hysterical and many rang true of my own life.  It inspired me to write my own list.  While they will not be anonymous, I hope you enjoy, get a little chuckle and take a few moments to ponder your own secret confessions!

v  I tell Andrew certain shirts are in the laundry so he can’t wear them.

v  I really began to enjoy running when I realized it was a guaranteed 30 minutes of “me” time.

v  I am not a morning person, but I get up at 5 a.m. so I can write, drink coffee and watch Days of our Lives.

v  I have spent 30 minutes carefully preparing a dinner only to have Andrew say, “I wish it was pizza night!”

v  I pretend to be asleep when Alex cries in the night so Jim will get up.

v  When Andrew’s questioning brings me to the brink of insanity, I say, “That’s a great question.  Go ask your dad.”

v  The boys yell, “Stop, Mommy! No sing!” every time I try to sing in the car.

v  I have no patience for children with bad, or no, manners.

v  I take long showers at night for an escape from the boys’ after dinner burst of energy.

v  I have turned the cooking of dinner over to Jim.  I have lost the motivation to be creative with food.

For short tidbits without reading the whole book, you can check out the Facebook page: Scary Mommy.

Resolve to be You!

            So I’m a little late on writing about New Year’s resolutions, but that’s no surprise, I’m a little late for most things in my life! I feel I would be remiss as a blogger who imparts fabulous tidbits of knowledge and witty excerpts from my life, if I did not jump on the resolution train – even if it’s already left the station.

            In fact, my post couldn’t come at a better time.  In researching resolutions, this is what I found:

·         40 to 45% of American adults make one or more resolutions each year.

·         Among the top are resolutions about weight loss, exercise, and stopping to smoke. Also popular are resolutions dealing with better money management / debt reduction.

·         The following shows how many of these resolutions are maintained as time goes on:

-             * past the first week: 75%

-             * past 2 weeks: 71%

-             * after one month: 64%

-             * after 6 months: 46%

One statistic I found stated that the percentage of people who were successful at achieving their resolution was 8%!  This is why I believe I have come up with the best resolution yet.  Sure, I could resolve to save more money, get (and stay organized) organized both at work and at home, and be on time; but that just wouldn’t be me.  I don’t spend beyond my means.  Nowadays most of what I buy is for the boys anyway.  For years I have been declaring the effectiveness if my “disorganized disorganization.”  And, if I started to be on time, I would have to relinquish my self-appointed title: “Queen of Procrastination.”  (I never did get that crown!)

All that being said, my resolution for 2013 is to be me!  To be the BEST me I can for myself, my family and friends!  At 40, I have a pretty good grasp on my strengths and weaknesses.  And so do the people who care about me.  They have come to know I will be about ten minutes late, pile papers rather than file them away quickly and impulse buy books and shoes.  All these wonderful qualities make me Jess.  To change now could confuse those I care most about – and I certainly wouldn’t want to do that! 

      Therefore, in 2013, I will put all my energy into developing my strengths.  I suggest you do the same.  Why set yourself up to be one of those statistics that don’t achieve their resolution?  Why engage yourself in discussions about how you’re trying to “be good” or “get back on track.”  Just be yourself!  You will be MUCH happier in the end…and so will others around you.

        

Hidden Toy Labels

            

            Santa Claus came. Santa Claus went.  He left quite a selection of toys behind.  The boys were overjoyed.  Jim and I are reeling from the new buzzers and buttons, directions and distractions, frustration and fun.  It seems, the toy manufacturers have forgotten to include a few labels in their quest to market these terrific toys.  It could be considered fine fin print, I guess.  Let me share my top five.

1.       Live action sound!  Guaranteed to hit a decibel level to grate on any adult within 50 feet.

2.      Hours of creative play!  Be sure to buy two of these because there will be battles with siblings.

3.      Some assembly required.  Have screwdrivers, hammers, and wrenches ready.  Present opening will be a bit delayed.

4.      Batteries included.  These batteries will only last a week so make sure you have backup.

5.      Requires xyz batteries.  You should take stock in Duracell or Energizer to get back a portion of what you will invest in this toy.

So, I’m sorry toy manufacturers.  I am on to you and I am spreading the word!  Adults everywhere, make sure you read the fine print, or at least read through the descriptive lines.

            Santa’s bounty has also completely overrun the boys’ already plentiful collection.  Therefore, Jim and I have been catapulted into Christmas cleanse mode.  I think we’ll start with anything that requites batteries! J